Kari Fillian Psychotherapy, LLC

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Physical Self-Care

Although all aspects of self-care are equally important, physical self-care - or, care for your physical body - is probably my favorite topic and it is one of the most misunderstood and neglected domains in our Western culture. We are a culture that has become quite disconnected from our bodies. For more on this topic and to learn more about why I’m so passionate about it, check out my previous post on embodiment.

When we think of physical self-care or care of our bodies, we are primed by diet culture to believe that taking care of our bodies requires vigorous exercise, dieting (or at the very least, health-conscious eating), and punishing our bodies into submission. While diet and exercise can be components of physical self-care, the purpose of caring for our bodies is not to follow arbitrary rules assigned by someone who doesn’t live in our unique body (most likely an old, white, cisgendered man); rather, the intention of physical self-care is to connect compassionately with our body’s needs and develop a loving and trusting relationship with our body. All this being said, although I will make some suggestions as to how you could take care of your body, physical self-care (and really self-care in any of the domains) is not about checking off boxes. It is about building a relationship with, as Karla McLaren writes in her book The Language of Emotions, your inner village (your body, intellect, spirit, and emotions).

Before skipping down to the ways you might incorporate physical self-care into your daily life, you might begin by considering how you relate to your body at this moment in time. Do you have a relationship with your body? Do you hate or loathe your body? What is like to be in your body? Are you often disconnected from your body?

The following are ways that I care for my own body, which works for me at this moment in time and is likely to change as my life and body changes. If any of these practices pique your interest, feel free to give them a try, but please don’t be limited by this list! Explore what your body needs. And if that feels like an impossible or daunting task, please know that there is help. This is my area of specialty as a therapist (and there are a growing number of therapists who are becoming more aware of how to support people through this), and I am happy to speak with you about how I can support you in your quest to develop a relationship with your own body.

  • Try Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga (TCTSY). This is a modality that I am currently training in and offer to clients. If TCTSY isn’t your thing, there are countless varieties of yoga practices that can support you in building a relationship with your body. Some of the practices that I use outside of TCTSY are hatha yoga, kundalini yoga, vinyasa yoga, and yin yoga. To learn more about yoga and my mindful movement offerings, check out my Mindful Movement page.

  • Practice body scans. Body scans are a meditative practice that guides you in focusing on different areas of your body. To learn more about body scans and find my recommended practices, check out my post on Mindfulness/Meditation Resources.

  • Stay up-to-date with your physical and dental check-ups (and any other medical professionals you work with).

  • Spend time outside - moving your body or maybe just sitting in stillness. I love to take off my shoes and go for walks. Connecting my body directly to the earth is incredibly grounding for me.

  • Spend time near or in water. This might mean jumping in the nearest body of water (like an ocean or lake), taking a bath, or taking a mindful shower. Perhaps you even soak your feet in warm water with Epsom salts.

  • Let yourself dance with abandon. Put on your favorite song (or maybe choose something random) and just let your body move.

  • Focus on sleep hygiene. Learn what your body needs when it comes to rest, and make it a priority.

  • Get a massage. I am now learning that there are so many different types, and I’ve enjoyed experiencing relaxation massages, deep Swedish massages, and craniosacral massages. Of course, not everyone enjoys being touched and not everyone has the privilege of affording massages, but if this appeals to you give it a try!

  • Try acupuncture. Acupuncture has been one of the most beneficial healing modalities for me and it is a regular part of my self-care routine.

  • Eat regularly, and make sure you are eating enough food! I am aware that for many people, eating is not as simple as “just eat enough,” and if you are struggling with disordered eating or a challenging relationship with food, please reach out to a professional for support.

  • Let yourself rest.

  • Make time for play.

I could go on and on about ways that I’ve learned to take care of my body, and I am certainly still learning and growing; but please remember that what works for me might not be what you need. Allow yourself the freedom to explore and tune into your body’s unique needs.

For more information, please see the article 6 Types of Self-Care & Ways to Practice Them, from which some of this information has been gathered.

Other resources that I recommend to learn more about the precious wisdom of your body and how to develop and kind and loving relationship with it are:

The Wisdom of Your Body (book) by Hillary McBride, PhD

When the Body Says No (book) by Gabor Maté, MD

The Body Keeps the Score (book) by Bessel van Der Kolk, PhD

The work of Jamie Lee Finch

The Center for Trauma & Embodiment & Trauma Center Trauma Sensitive Yoga

If you are looking for support in connecting to your body’s inner wisdom or developing a more compassionate relationship with your body, please feel free to reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consult to see if therapy with me would be a good fit for you.