Tonglen
Tonglen is an ancient Buddhist practice literally meaning “sending and taking.” This is a practice in being with and compassionately transforming suffering. Those of us who are sensitive and empathic may find that the suffering of the world, our communities, our families, and ourselves feels especially heavy. However, Tonglen is a wonderful practice for anyone who would like to cultivate and embrace more compassion, both for yourself and for others.
Pema Chödrön, in the article “How to Practice Tonglen” describes the four stages of formalTonglen as:
Allowing your mind to rest in a state of openness, spaciousness, and clarity.
Visualize as you breathe: Breathe in feelings of pain, suffering, heaviness. Breathe out a sense of freedom, light, and coolness.
Focus on a personal situation - whether that is the suffering of someone you love, your own suffering, or global suffering. For example, if you are feeling a sense of unworthiness, breathe in this unworthiness and breathe out a sense of self-compassion and love (or whatever feels appropriate in the moment).
Finally, extend your practice to encompass all who are feeling the suffering you are breathing in, and breathe out for all who experience this suffering. You can extend this practice to include anyone - from people you know personally, to people you see on the street, to those who might find challenging to love.
Tonglen can be utilized as a formal meditation practice or as a practice that you utilize throughout your day, perhaps when you are noticing a moment of pain or suffering, when you are waiting in line at the grocery store, or before you go to bed.
If you are interested in learning more about Tonglen or engaging in formal practice, please check out the resources below. Let me know in the comments if you have practiced Tonglen and how it went for you!
Wishing you peace, light, and love.
Kari
How to Practice Tonglen by Pema Chödrön (article)
Tonglen: The Path of Transformation by Pema Chödrön (book)
Tonglen Meditation Practice with Pema Chödrön (video)
Yoga for Empaths with Echo Flow Yoga - Boundaries for Holistic Living and Mental Health Awareness (video)
To practice with me, check out my 4-minute Tonglen practice on Instagram.
A sample tonglen meditation script
by Pamela Gayle White at MindWorks.org
Sit comfortably and settle in.
Begin with mindfulness meditation, maintaining your focus on the breath. As you breathe in, be present with breathing in. As you breathe out, be present with breathing out. Acknowledge distracting thoughts and emotions as they arise, let go of them, and return to connecting with the breath.
Now link intention to the breath. On the exhale, breathe out the light of basic goodness: your wish to help alleviate pain and suffering. On the inhale, invite the smoky darkness of negativity and suffering to enter your heart where it will be transformed into light.
Imagine that your initial object of compassion is a frightened stray dog cowering in a cage at an animal control facility. Begin the exchange by breathing in the darkness of her fear, isolation, and bewilderment so that she is relieved of it.
As you breathe out, your affectionate heart radiates soothing, gentle light beams that touch, reassure, and comfort her. She becomes confident and happy, cared-for and loved.
Extend your meditation to other scared dogs, other caged animals, all beings stuck behind bars, and so on. Breathe in the darkness of their distress, breathe out the light of freedom and peace; imagine their relief and allow it to touch your heart.
Expand the circle of goodwill—the scope of your imagination is the only limit. Breathe out happiness and its causes; breathe in suffering and negativities. Allow your heart’s natural goodness to shine unreservedly and touch the world with its grace.
Finally, relax into open meditation and sit within that for a few more minutes.
