The Domains of Self-Care
Self-Care Kari Fillian Self-Care Kari Fillian

The Domains of Self-Care

Self-care is a topic I’m pretty passionate about…but I wasn’t always. As a child and teenager, I internalized the mindset that self-care is selfish and a waste of time. However, I now believe that this was due to understanding the concept of self-care in a very limiting way - bubble baths, long days at the spa, expensive clothes, grandiose vacations. As someone who developed a chronic illness in my early adulthood, my body forced me to reimagine and reevaluate my underlying beliefs about and ideas of self-care.

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Mindfulness/Meditation Resources
Mindfulness, Meditation Kari Fillian Mindfulness, Meditation Kari Fillian

Mindfulness/Meditation Resources

Below are some of my favorite resources for incorporating mindfulness and/or formal meditation into your daily life. These are all practices I have experienced myself and highly recommend. Perhaps some of these practices will resonate with you, or perhaps this will serve as a jumping off point for you to explore other practices and ways of engaging with your own version of mindfulness. There is no right or wrong way to practice!

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Tonglen
Mindfulness Kari Fillian Mindfulness Kari Fillian

Tonglen

Tonglen is an ancient Buddhist practice literally meaning “sending and taking.” This is a practice in being with and compassionately transforming suffering. Those of us who are sensitive and empathic may find that the suffering of the world, our communities, our families, and ourselves feels especially heavy. However, Tonglen is a wonderful practice for anyone who would like to cultivate and embrace more compassion, both for yourself and for others.

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What Is Embodiment?
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What Is Embodiment?

Embodiment is a buzzword that is becoming increasingly popular in wellness and therapy circles. In fact, I describe myself as an embodiment therapist and believe that embodiment is central to wholeness and healing. So what is embodiment?

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Understanding Trauma, Part 4: Healing
Trauma, Mental Health Kari Fillian Trauma, Mental Health Kari Fillian

Understanding Trauma, Part 4: Healing

Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., one of the leading voices in the field of trauma and the author of The Body Keeps the Score, writes, ““Trauma, by definition, is unbearable and intolerable.” However, his research also shows that healing is possible. Specifically, van der Kolk describes three avenues for “help[ing] survivors feel fully alive in the present and move on with their lives.”

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Understanding Trauma, Part 3: The Effects of Trauma
Trauma, Mental Health Kari Fillian Trauma, Mental Health Kari Fillian

Understanding Trauma, Part 3: The Effects of Trauma

As we’ve been exploring, trauma has a significant and distinct impact on the body, mind, and emotions. Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., one of the leading voices in the field of trauma and the author of The Body Keeps the Score, writes that “Trauma…almost always makes it difficult to engage in intimate relationships…affects the imagination…It changes not only how we think and what we think about, but also our very capacity to think.” Trauma can impact our ability to make decisions, access rational thought, create, play, and feel fully alive.

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Understanding Trauma, Part 2: Stress and Trauma
Trauma, Stress Management, Mental Health Kari Fillian Trauma, Stress Management, Mental Health Kari Fillian

Understanding Trauma, Part 2: Stress and Trauma

Trauma is defined not by the event(s) that happen to us, but by the response our nervous system has to those events (if you missed Part 1, check it out to learn more about the function of the nervous system). By this definition, what is experienced as traumatic for one person may not be experienced that way by another. To understand this, let’s break down the difference between stress and trauma.

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Your Therapist Has A Therapist
Mental Health Kari Fillian Mental Health Kari Fillian

Your Therapist Has A Therapist

Just like you, I have my own mental health journey. (Don’t we all? I mean, we all have bodies and brains and emotions and life!) While the details will be saved for my own therapist’s office, I do believe that an important step in breaking down the stigma surrounding seeking mental health treatment begins with one person having the courage to share part of their own journey.

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What I Savored in 2021
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What I Savored in 2021

One of my favorite podcasts is “Death, Sex, & Money” with Anna Sale. On this podcast, Anna Sale “explores the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation” (from the Death, Sex, & Money website), which is also usually the types of conversation I have with clients during therapy sessions.

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Self-Care During the Holidays
Self-Care, Holidays, Stress Management Kari Fillian Self-Care, Holidays, Stress Management Kari Fillian

Self-Care During the Holidays

Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, or some combination of these or other holidays, or whether you avoid celebrations altogether, the holiday season can be a time that bounces rapidly between joy and stress. I find that during the holiday season, I experience a full range of emotions on an almost daily basis, and navigating these emotions, and the circumstances that are contributing to them, can feel like a full time job.

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